What happened to Lance Way?

General Chatter
21

Then don’t change. If there is one thing the world lacks and still needs like it needs air to breathe, it’s idealism.

Detaching from feelings sounds too paralysing for my tastes. Life is pain because the game is rigged. The rules of this game called life make people into the monsters that they become IMO. I just know there has to be a way to bridge the gap between the known and unknown by widening perception. It just seems logical to me when considering our own limitations.

Of course, finding the cracks in the universe will certainly make life less unoriginal. It frustrates me to see so many people robbed of life by life itself. So try to be a good example for others to follow.

I wonder: if we had a choice between reality and fiction which we’d choose. Maybe we are just walking that fine line between sanity and madness anyway. Whatever makes life less boring IMO.

The downside is, we may scare people away. Lol.

22

I just wanted to say, welcome back Gehn. :anjou_wave:

23

Thanks Solo :anjou_happy:

Buddhist detachment is not detachment in the classical sense. Is just about enjoying (or enduring) things in the moment…and then letting it go. It’s actually very smart and it has nothing to do with escaping pain or becoming a robot.

I’ve actually gained a bit more faith regarding life. Yeah, it’s not as fantastic as fantasy sometimes…but I’d always choose reality over fiction to be honest.

Happiness is possible in reality. But truth isn’t possible in fiction. And the human being hungers for both happiness AND truth.

24

Well I’ve seen what guru worship does to people, and to be honest, I’d rather be hit by lightening to encourage me to move than stay caught somewhere between my humanity and detachment from it.

But you are right that we hunger for truth in our lives as much as happiness. It’s just that you can suspend reality to delude yourself into believing that a lie is the truth, because in that lie you can be what you never can be in reality.

You are going to have to forgive people for choosing to embrace a lie over the truth.

25

You don’t need a guru. And the detachment I’m talking about isn’t doesn’t detach you from your humanity. Anyway, it’s too complex a topic to synthesize specially if you have a lot of preconceived notions about what it is. Which we all tend to have.

[quote=“Geoffrey Duke”]But you are right that we hunger for truth in our lives as much as happiness. It’s just that you can suspend reality to delude yourself into believing that a lie is the truth, because in that lie you can be what you never can be in reality.

You are going to have to forgive people for choosing to embrace a lie over the truth.[/quote]

Oh I do. But I’ve found the truth is actually more freeing that we are taught to believe. We’re just so used to labels in real life, that make us feel worse than we should. It’s usually about social conditioning and peer pressure. And stupid expectations.

More and more I realize I’m gonna live outside the norm.

26

Let the chips fall where they may. Personally, I have too much passion for my own good but after years of turning it off (people were envious of how I could do this) I decided it’s better to be propelled by your own fire than someone else’s. But yeah, it’s not easy to put into words.

You should comment in the nuclear meltdown topic. I’m curious what your feelings are on it.

27

Yeah being propelled by your own fire is very important. I just started seeing that some people (not just Buddha, greek philosopher Epicurus is another favorite of mine) actually arrived to a lot of the same conclusions and in a kind of a weird way I finally felt a bit of validation in my cookieness. :stuck_out_tongue:

Some would say follow your bliss, I say follow your cookieness…with a healthy dose of open-mindedness and self-awareness and a whole lot of resilience to other people’s ignorance…

28

Yeah shame we have to convert our insanity into a profit somehow.

Let’s save the world by conquering death itself. We can put these minds that our “caring” societies couldn’t care less about to some good finally.

YEAH.

29

That’s pretty much how I feel these days. I’m convinced that there’s enough good fiction in the world, be it games, films, TV, literature, or anything else, to occupy more than a lifetime - especially if a person enjoys studying it as well as experiencing it. The only reason that I’m trying to avoid escapism at the moment is because I want to prioritise real life, not because the escapism isn’t good!

Also, hi Gehn, long time no see. :anjou_happy: Not that that phrase makes much sense on a forum.

30

Hello Gehn, hello Lance, and welcome back, whatever that may mean… :anjou_love:

As yet another pathetic pre-qualification to the anticipated incongruity of however this post may turn out… I seem to be wallowing in a cycle of acute resentment of the deficiencies of language. In adolescence I can recall abstract communication was terrifying: yet it was also an adventure; an irresistible force; a welcome challenge; and therefore a source of inherent joy. But more and more it also feels like an obstacle, or a trial to be endured…

About three and a half years ago my older brother decided it was time to willfully end his own life. That should not be taken as a dramatic revelation, for it is not the intention of the form. Then again it is perhaps only another conceit: out of four remaining (full) siblings and - at the time - both living parents; I ascertained myself to be the least surprised/shocked/and [perhaps] put-out party to the whole dynamic.

Before I even knew any details - at the instant my sister informed me “Kris is dead” - I understood the reality.

TWotA, is a shelter, a sanctuary, an oasis. And I’m being melodramatic in full consciousness here.

In some nominal sense, I owned the Atari, while Kris owned the Commodore 64. Kris also happened to own a Piano - a Steinway Concert Grand - for a time before that, that he had procured and paid for out of his own wherewithal. I grew up hearing classical, Jazz, and particularly Boogie and Ragtime standards being practiced on a freaking Steinway Concert Grand Piano most days of my childhood!

Kris was even the first person to ever point me in the direction of Overclocked ReMix, twelve years my senior, yet more wired than myself during my own Amiga mourning period…

At nostalgic times, as now, there is an added edge to my emotional state. Kris was the one direct association I had, who completely shared an understanding of the importance, even primacy, of these seemingly secondary, encoded musical expressions. Another of my closest friends is also very musically inclined, and preoccupied with lament over the sorry state of musical invention… and there’s nothing I could ever do to make him understand the joy in this genre. Electronic music has been the true lifeblood of expression since the end of the heyday of the recording phenomenon. The main custodianship of art and spontaneity changed hands, and chip-music in it’s various forms has been the very center and the source.

Gehn, from what I’ve picked up on about you, I think that may also be a crucial element missing from “gaming” now. I certainly know it’s true for myself, videogame music has lost it’s soul.

Of course there will always be exceptions.

Your take on Buddhism is serendipitous for me, I’ve only recently come to terms with a reality that abstraction itself has been a form of dogma in my life. As such I may run into the tenets of Siddhartha from a quite opposite perspective from most people. You say we may follow our bliss… I’ll also say we all must follow our own bias. For any reaction to be honest, it must in some ultimate sense be reactionary.

Every soul seeks balance, and every soul seeks it from it’s own unique pressures of imbalance.

And Lance, I don’t know if this even means anything. But just for my own psychology, there is a lament about the form some of the abstraction I’ve brought to this forum has taken. I wont use the word regret, for it is an unseemly construct; but I’ve been consciously reassessing my own patterns of accommodation with the world lately… and though (even at 34+ years, in my case) we have all been witness and subject to each others’ evolution and phases here, looking back there are some extroversions I would definitely choose not to repeat.

And Gehn, I’ll make a promise to be wherever, and whenever, if it’s in any way possible, for that meet-up. If only because it’d be so crucially out of character for me… and so perhaps crucial to my own growth. :anjou_happy:

31

Back when I was a regular here, I was firmly seated on the “hardcore gamer with few social skills” bandwagon. While I mostly tried to be polite in a formal sort of way, I was condescending and rude sometimes - to yourself on at least one occasion - and that’s something I’d choose not to repeat.

Ha, for me it currently means “Check TWotA once every month or two, fail to find a thread that I can add anything meaningful to, then go away again”. :anjou_happy: But I do keep coming back.

32

Yeah I think I was way more closeminded when I first arrived here. That’s a long story. But there’s a reason why I don’t believe in living in the past if I can help it. My bad!

I’m listening to the Skies of Arcadia soundtrack at the moment while finding it amusing how much truth really is stranger than fiction.

Skies of Arcadia OST - Delphinus

If I am wrong about something I’ll happily stand corrected, which is an improvement for me because I become too settled in my ways for my own good. Now I embrace failure because it shows me where I need to improve.

From my experience that need for a sense of belonging that we all hunger is too powerful to ignore. It’s not unlike needing air to breathe.

I’d always teach people to find their strengths, then build on them as a foundation without taking my own advice until recently. Better not to fail at your failings, but at the same time, I care about people enough to never let them give up on themselves.

When I look at the world around us, I can’t help but feel that God did an amateurish job. When confined to the confines of my logical mind, I can only see a neutral soulless process of creation through immutable natural laws that cannot be denied by any sane imagination, which ultimately bounce us off the walls.

So guys, don’t let me scare you away. I’ve been wrong about a lot of things. My faith being one of them. Even if I could easily hide among Christians, the blindness of their faith is as stunning as it is beautiful. But I still love them despite how even a deist like me probably wouldn’t be welcome among them; that’s the nature of exclusivity.

I was actually contemplating how life forces us to sacrifice living in order to stay alive. The sense of purpose you can take from that is perhaps the greatest tragedy of them all. IMO, hold onto the few things that make life worth living. Try not to give up whatever makes you happy, then you will have something to make it all worth it, even if it’s gaming. Sadly for me, it’s a trap for my mind, only I chose to be trapped because I felt like I was as good as dead anyway. Damn real life for getting in the way.

So on your feet soldiers?

I hope things turn out well for you Heretic. I’m no stranger to death either so I know how that feels. I think this world destroys people, and the rules make them into the monsters they become. The fire in me won’t surrender to it if I can help it, but that’s just my English blood talking. I’m not in a position to give any solid advice, but I will say the world cannot stop the future.

I am curious now about what meaning is lost through our own reduced forms of expression (I won’t say limited because English can still flow with all the fluidness of a harp sometimes). Aren’t we limited by simply knowing what we need to know? I have to admit to finding some music more angelic than anything else that my ears have met.

33

Ultimately, nostalgia is probably just the easiest / most direct path to keeping my spirits up through an ambiguous and uncertain phase of existence… but then again, in my case the vast majority of nostalgic connections are from equally uncertain periods, so - shrug

Most people are probably aware of the concept of “instant karma”?

Well, right here and right now, I’ll attempt to officially coin the term ‘INSTANT NOSTALGIA’. Aiight?

As a concept, what if one was to entirely understand and feel the same effect of nostalgia; the power, importance and influence of a stimulus… AT THAT SAME MOMENT.

Gehn, that quote…

“By idolizing those whom we honor, we do a disservice both to them and to ourselves…We fail to recognize that we could go and do likewise.”

There is a very practical and pragmatic mechanic in the state of being I will here generalize as “in love”. It has the intrinsic effect of suspending Ego.

That may indeed be a generalization - or even a subjective conceit, having only one clear instance of the classical phenomenon to draw upon - but the operative principle I’m attempting to define is one of ambiguous character anyway…

People place on a pedestal only things they are unable or afraid to fully embrace, or understand. Which is not to be condemned, for it returns to the very paradox of objectivity. Possession is stasis, yet indifference is chaos. The trap of idolatry is in ascribing static virtues above one’s own, yet also in precluding the inevitable dynamism of the idol itself. But by the same token, the state of acceptance of something outside our own current virtue is invaluable. From that impulse arises true aspiration, as opposed to base ambition.

Even elements of misogyny appear to me to contain their own counterbalance, in the impulse to idolize the opposite gender. Or more to the point… that is an example that has been conveniently and perennially marginalized in classical philosophies for most of our known history.

The ultimate trick, as I’m beginning to see it, is not in dismantling or outlawing the pedestals… but merely in allowing our idols the right to step off of them at their own discretion. And ourselves the possibility of joining them or even taking their place…

My current lament is not structural so much as… dimensional. Perhaps my own process of attempting to bridge the gap between intellectual / analytical and intuitive / emotional intelligence has led to a crisis. And the act of funneling something I may instantly understand I want to communicate, into an actual coherent communication, becomes an ever more excruciating dilution of intent.

Or I may also be trying to convince myself I’m a fraud, and this is not who I really am. Again, we all ultimately seek balance, and I happen to be in a phase of relative disdain over who/what I have managed to be. And yet, a defining aspect of who I have been is also an impulse to abandon my own strengths, and often at the strangest junctures.

Ehh, I only seem to find the right focus for this sort of dialogue when I’ve been drinking - proximity to Napa Valley makes being a part-time wino rather inexpensive! lol - but it also puts more of a timer on that focus. Ahh well, sleep is good too…

34

Yeah I won’t say no to escaping into oblivion for a while. Maybe you are being too smart for your own good (hey it can happen!), or maybe attempting to give the ineffable expression can be done and we’ve all forgotten how. Maybe you’re being reminded that you need a reminder?

I am probably missing the point, but from what I see, everyone needs reasons to be. To be shaped or shape yourself. The worst crime is how powerless everyone has been made to feel.

IMO, the best thing you could do is become a domino that falls on others. Open people’s eyes to why they are wrong if you feel they are. The truth (to us) always speaks for itself anyway.

We are a moth that needs a flame for direction even though it will burn us to death.

We do need the impossible, but at the same time, we don’t have a choice to make the seemingly impossible possible. We’re actually more like moths trapped in a lampshade with the real light being invisible. Of course, I am in no position to lecture anyone, which I’ll freely admit.

Stasis is felt everywhere. It’s even a nice place to be. Ego may be a loose cannon, but at least it can claim to be free. When it starts feeding on others, it ceases to be free, in a true sense.

I have to admit, it’s hard for me to follow what you are saying precisely, but I catch the general meaning of what you are trying to convey. You should write a book.

!!

Doesn’t it surprise you how simple human nature really is?

I take comfort in the fact that some ideas are indeed bullet proof. They will outlive empires and time itself.

35

Again I’ll offer contrition for being so fractured and perhaps morose in this thread, while I may be unsettled lately I’m also attempting to remain unsettled. Pursuant to some of that previous rambling… I’ve been trying to sort out my relationship with music, and I think it’s been an emblem for my alter ego. It’s insulated from the rest of my psyche as a non-analytical / purely emotional realm, which has made it impossible to deal with the way I often wish that I could.

I’ve dreamed original symphonies a few times, and not being able to retain something like that can be decidedly demoralizing…

Perhaps I should write a book Geoffrey, but there’s other things I probably should do as well. There’s no way to easily qualify this, but verbalization is just another thing I somewhat abandoned for a while, as it’s value became illusory. Which is of course why I may also overvalue this sort of space for communication, the significance of the literal word is greatly elevated.

But the ultimate goal is always communication, and some things cannot be communicated, at least not directly, by words alone. And certainly music is the form of abstract communication balancing and supplementing language throughout human history. It’s especially fascinating that there is no brain center associated with music, it is a clinically holistic phenomenon. And my own recent musings are that it is a direct reflection of humanity’s unique privilege and curse in being able to arbitrarily disconnect from the moment, to swim against the currents of time and nature itself.

But in this particular moment, I’ve also been musing on the possible insidious intermediary influence of the Knight Rider theme music on the greater current of electronic-demoscene-chip-videogame music in general. So I can never escape the abstraction anyway. shrug

And even after culling several, there are still far too many instances of “I” in this post… I know that.

36

What’s wrong with I?

Wanting to stay hidden between the moments is something I struggle with. It’s impossible to say no to breaking away from the flow.

English is like staying between the shortest crossroads to everything around it. Or maybe that’s just me. I prefer looking at things in terms of irreducible complexity (a house of cards in other words) rather than holistically.

I think it is the strength and weakness of a reactionary nature (only knowing what you need to know). You maybe don’t fall into that?

At the moment I am listening to:

Inner Universe (full song)

And I have no idea why. Lol. Some music can speak to your soul somehow. That isn’t one of them for me but it somehow blends the human and inhuman to great effect.

37

Just a heads up to everyone… Lance has moved on from the gaming community, and has requested that I delete his forum account. I have done so. His posts still remain on this forum as a “Guest” account.

If there is anything you want to discuss regarding Lance’s content on this website, please contact me instead. I can contact Lance privately if need be, but any content that he contributed will be managed by me from now on.