Many of you will be aware of my exceedingly strong affinity with the dank, gothic, macabre and unremittingly brutal realm of Games Workshop’s famous tapletop battlegame, Warhammer 40,000.
Now, although Games Workshop has been a modelling gamer’s icon par excellence for over twenty-five years, their forays into the realms of computer games have been… lacklustre (stated politely). Beyond a few exceptions such as Space Hulk or Dark Omens, their titles have remained uniformly mediocre (such as their most recent release, Fire Warrior.).
And the less aid about the grandest non-starter in the history of gaming that was the farcicial attempt to produce a film version of the Bloodquest comic strips, the better.
All this, however, is set to change, and the peals of battle shall (hopefully!) be crashing out their discordant cacophony of grief and strife through your speakers as the latest - and irrefutably the most impressive - computerised version of the Grim Darkness Of The Far Future where There Is Only War is being released this week…
[size=167]Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War[/size]
Unfortunately, my appallingly primitive 810 Megahertz Pentium III and Nvidia-something-or-other graphics card is too basic to actually let me play the game - but just by watching the trailers I can declaim that I am thoroughly impressed. Permit me to provide an extended analogy to the experience:
It’s like playing Starcraft.
On quadruple the fastest speed setting.
Whilst chewing chilli peppers.
In a wind tunnel.
Having a steroid-caffeine solution intravenously fed to your bloodstream.
Playing Bangai-O and Radiant Silvergun simulateneously with your toes.
Sitting on a rusted petrol drum.
With go-faster stripes.
Having lit Zippo lighters thrown at it.
Stated succinctly - truly, utterly, astoundingly, disarmingly viscereal.
Of course, regaling mesmerisingly destructive trailers does not in any manner account for the integrity of gameplay - but all the reviews I’ve read have given it a positive reception, and the fact that it’s being developed by Relic (the company that was responsible for Homeworld), I would consider that to be reason enough for optimism.
I’d reccomend you all inspect this game, even if it’s only downloading the demo that you can find on FilePlanet… now you have a brilliant opportunity to enjoy one of the most detailed and marvellous realms in science-fiction, and enjoy a thrilling slaughter simulateneously.
Can you believe the hype? I CERTAINLY CAN!
But remember - the Universe is a big place, and, whatever happens, you will not be missed…