Sometimes, there are no words

Man rescued from ‘penguin sex’

A BONDAGE FETISHIST called police to remove his cuffs after he was reduced to waddling around helplessly ‘like a penguin’.

Officers sent to rescue the man in Aachen, western Germany, said when they arrived there was no answer at the house until the man appeared at a window and flung out the door keys with his teeth.

On entering, they saw a heavily-chained man shuffling towards them on his knees with his head bowed, dressed only in shiny black leather and white socks.

A police spokesman said: 'To visualise the appearance of the afflicted party, one would have to imagine a penguin of waist-height waddling with slightly protruding wings.

‘We thought it was a joke at first but the chains were bound so tight with handcuffs he could hardly move anything apart from his head.’

Officers released the man using their own handcuff keys.

It was not clear how he became ensnared.

‘We suggested in future that he go to places where that sort of thing might cost a bit more, but would definitely be safer for him,’ the spokesman added

o.0 There’s an even worse one here
but, at least nemi is quite good today.

Neil’s German? o.O

I know, I was shocked too.

o_o shakes head

I have a worse one:

Woman kept dead sister

AN OLD WOMAN in Ireland shared a room with her sister’s body - for up to a year after her sister’s death.

Mary Ellen Lyons told no one that her sister Agnes had died, and even slept in the same bed as the body. Even their brother Michael, who lived in the same remote bungalow in rural western Ireland, did not know.

An inquest heard was told that Agnes probably died in 2002 - possibly in September - at the age of 70. However, her body was only discovered in August, 2003 when Mary Ellen became ill and had to be taken to hospital.

‘I have tried to remember when Agnes died but I just can’t remember,’ Mary Ellen said in a statement read out at the inquest. ‘I remember getting Christmas cards at Christmas 2002 but I cannot remember if Agnes was dead at the time.’

The inquest heard the three siblings lived in ‘a world apart’ and that the sisters were deeply religious. After Agnes’ death, Mary Ellen sometimes slept in the same double bed as the corpse and sometimes in the bathroom. Michael stayed in his own bedroom and the living room of the tiny house and never entered his sisters’ room.

‘There is no way that Michael would open the door of a woman’s room,’ a neighbour told the inquest.

‘They wouldn’t even watch the television if there was a woman on it. They were from a different era.’


points at self

Special offer on in NZ just now:

“Buy one CD for $24.99, or two for $50!”

… And that shows you how stupid people think the common public is…

Didn’t Daz have a “XD !!!” post after mine before?


Could’ve. She may have erased it though.