I turn 30 this week, and with this “milestone” I’ve been looking back on life a bit…
Before the turn of the millennium and after, I would have possibly been considered a “hardcore gamer” - one who spent all their free time in front of a screen gaming away but since my mid-twenties my interest in computer games and the lively community surrounding them has been dwindling to near-extinction.
My father bought a PS4 and gave me a loan of it, I managed to borrow a copy of Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain from a friend. After popping it in the machine and after a few sessions I can conclude it is an amazing game featuring an expansive world and the type of thing I would sink countless hours in.
I just have no desire to play it - and with that realization came the end of computer games being a big part of my life.
But that won’t remove the memories of when computer games were at one time a truly magical and mystical thing. On the Christmas of 1995 a nine year-old me received a Sega Saturn with Daytona USA and Virtua Fighter which was a major thing - my family weren’t exactly well off and consoles back then cost more than they do now (the package bought in December 1995 cost £499 - which is apparently worth £866 in todays money).
As someone who had only ever had access to their sister’s Amiga 500+ (with a 1mb upgrade!) the world of Japanese consoles instantly captivated me. I was spellbound by Daytona USA and it’s uniquely eastern view on American stock car racing accompanied with a sunset beach day glo- almost magical coloured pallette. The upcoming section of Sega Saturn Magazine featured exotic and almost alien looking games from the land far east, the absence of internet and instantaneous gaming news feeds adding the mystery and allure.
In March 1996 my parents bought my next game, Panzer Dragoon from Beatties in East Kilbride. It cost £49.99 (£89 in todays money!) and was also my first ever time watching a FMV movie, the horns starting and then the title screen appearing are a memory that I might never forget. Later that year on my birthday I got Virtua Cop with the accompanying gun, and delved yet again into the AM2 brand of arcade fun. In 1997 I received Christmas NiGHTS for free from Dixons (I crapped it when you got Reala in the presents bit) which has became my ultimate Christmas game of all time.
Sega Saturn Magazine in either March/April gave away the first disc of Panzer Dragoon Saga, and after playing it extensively I knew straight away that I wanted to continue the adventure after I had defeated Craymen’s ship and the Atolm Dragon.
In 1998 for my twelfth birthday I got Panzer Dragoon Saga from the phone-in catalogue that constantly advertised in Sega Saturn Magazine. This was just during the summer holidays and would offer me the opportunity to play it for what I can now say was far too long for a twelve year old to be staring at a screen.
Sega ceased supporting the Saturn shortly after. Years would go by, the significance of the arcades would shrivel as home gaming caught up in terms of technology and experience. Gaming for me lost it’s magic and tragically became a crutch for me as I suffered abuse, bullying at school and generally grew into a broken human being.
Now nearing 30 I’m starting life again, I’ve almost finished many years of having to “euthanize” my former self and emerge from the remains. All my gaming/nerd stuff is gone, the only remains are a 3DS and Vita with a few select games and my Saturn - looking at it almost takes me back to years before the advent of “triple A”, “DLC” and “console wars”. Instead I think of the novelty of games on CD-ROM, playing with the pitch on the Saturn music player, the hyperactive voice announcements of Daytona USA and the genuine sense of wonder that came with exploring that excavation site and beyond.
My magical era is long gone, and I don’t mean that in a bad way - it’s just one of those things. I’m sure right now people are going through their magical gaming era and fast forward twenty years they’ll be writing a load of nostalgia ridden crap like this.
Anyway, that’s me spewed out enough. Apologies for the long post and bad structure.