need to relieve something
WARNING: may be long and boring
So if you read earlier in the thread, i got a gf in oct 03, and was extremely happy.
Things wernt going so well and we broke up after 3 months… Near the end of the relationship, there were petty stupid arguments, and sometimes we didn’t even talk.
I think i should have been more ‘bigger’ about it, and sorted it out. But i didn’t…
Looking back on it, i was sometime quite a big idiot. She was so kind to me but i was just returning blank emotions. There were some reasons behind my actions, but i shouldn’t have dealt with it like i did.
I didn’t see her throught 2004, and now I been talking to her recently in 2005, for the past few months and now its taken me a year to realise that i was really “cold” to her and i regret it so much.
You know when you see relationships and think "wow he sucks, i would treat a girlfriend so much better than that"
Well thats what i always thought. She was my first gf, and now i feel really out of order. She didn’t deserve me.
I was such a jackass, she was so perfect in everyway and i screwed it up.
Now, currently i think shes a bit stressed cos exams are near, and i don’t think she wants a bf. Of course, i really want to be with her, and treat her well, but the situation sucks. Its even affecting my health, or so i’m suppossed to believe that “emotional stress” is the cause.
I should be doing my ICT coursework that was due in 3 weeks ago, and is being sent off to the exam board this week. But i’ve had enough, too much is happening to me, i’m going to bed.
Hopefully you’ll get the chance to have a break soon and relax.